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Friend Guilt

I think the hardest part about being a mom, is having friends who don’t understand, “being a mom”. The majority of the people in my life do not have kids which makes those friendships more difficult to maintain, than with the ones who do have kids. My mom friends are more understanding when we don’t see each other often, and they expect delayed and sometimes forgotten responses. The ones sans-kids need to understand that I don’t have the flexibility to do dinner or a movie at the drop of a hat. People forget that just because my response is “I have London.” it’s not “no, I don’t want too” or “no, I can’t” – it means, I have London. So if you want to hang out there’s obviously some guidelines and sometimes, they might need to settle on a visit rather than going out.

I do see people from time to time. I actually have a pretty good social life being a single parent. It’s an on-going joke that if you want to see me, you can visit me while I’m serving because that’s sometimes the only “free time” I have.

I do get invited to things too and I do feel guilty when someone is trying to coordinate getting together but I’m booking 4-6 weeks out. Unfortunately, that comes along with having a full-time job, a part-time job, a four-year-old and being in a relationship. All of those things for me come first.

Many people have no problem [negativitly] judging a mom who goes out every single night, or doesn’t have her kids in the evening, or has them in childcare/school full-time and doesn’t work; basically, anything that has it appears she is not taking care of her children. I sometimes feel the judgment of people when I am home every single night taking care of mine. Well, let’s be honest, I am home 4-6 nights a week. 1-2 of those nights I am working and the others she spends quality time with her dad, which is super important. That 1 night a week where she is with dad is my time to do what I want to. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m probably at home, in bed by 10 pm anyway.

Sometimes, I feel left out. Sometimes, I wish I could join in last minute plans. Sometimes, I wish I could travel on the weekend. But at the end of the day, I chose to be a mom. I choose to put my daughter first and most importantly, I choose to have her home at every chance. End rant.